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Harm or Discomfort? How Artists Tell the Difference


harm-or-discomfort-and-building-resilient-artists

Was it harm—or was it discomfort? And how do we tell the difference?


This is one of the most important episodes I’ve ever recorded. It's a conversation that’s been sitting on my heart for a long while, because I see this tension everywhere: in rehearsal rooms, institutions, universities… and honestly, in the world.



Today, I’m discussing a question that has the power to shift how we work together and how we care for one another in creative spaces: Was it harm, or was it discomfort?


I’ve been in rooms where seasoned theater professionals feel like the new generation is “too soft,” and where younger artists feel unsafe, unsupported, or unseen. Both groups care deeply about the work, but they’re often talking past each other. And at the root of it all? A missing skillset: knowing how to recognize what’s happening in our own bodies, and how to respond.


In this episode, I share the Stoplight System—a tool I use in workshops and rehearsals to help individuals identify what’s truly going on internally. Is it a stretch? Is it a wound? What do you need at this moment?


This isn’t about assigning blame. It’s about practicing discernment, building resilience, and leading with care... even (especially) when things get hard.


If you’ve ever struggled to speak up, hold space, or navigate feedback with compassion, this one’s for you.


Here’s what I cover:


  • The growing tension between generations in creative spaces

  • Why “toughen up” and “avoid everything hard” are both missing the point

  • How I use the Stoplight System to distinguish between harm and discomfort

  • What emotional safety actually looks like in a rehearsal room

  • A moment when feedback challenged me and how I knew it wasn’t harm

  • A moment of real harm in my career and how it changed me

  • Why public call-outs can be tempting (and when they might not be helpful)

  • The questions I ask before naming harm and how I build space for repair


We’re artists. We’re storytellers. We’re healers. And if we want to create work that transforms others, we have to learn how to care for ourselves and each other first.


So I hope this conversation stirs something in you, not to shut you down, but to wake you up. To help you ask better questions. To create rehearsal rooms where all of us—every single one—can thrive.


Thanks for being here. And thank you for your courage.

harm-or-discomfort


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Thanks for joining me on this episode of Inclusive Stages! If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on Apple or Spotify to help me reach even more theater makers, theater artists, and theater lovers who want to make our industry a better place for everyone.


Thanks to our music composer, Zachary McConnell, and our producer, Leah Bryant.


More about the Inclusive STAGES Podcast


Inclusive STAGES™ Building Healthy Arts Spaces is the podcast for theater makers, creatives, and arts leaders who believe we can build a better industry—one brave, emotionally intelligent, and trauma-informed space at a time. Hosted by Kira Troilo, founder of Art & Soul Consulting, each episode explores what it really takes to create inclusive, healthy creative environments in today’s rapidly changing performing arts landscape.


Whether you're a theater artist, an arts administrator, an educator, a creative leader, or a producer, this show will help you answer big questions like:


What is inclusive leadership in the arts, and how do I practice it?


How can performing arts organizations promote diversity and inclusion?


What does “representation matters” mean in theater and beyond?


How can venues make performances more accessible?


What tools do I need to lead with care—and still make bold, brilliant work?


Through honest conversations, industry insights, and practical tools, Inclusive STAGES™ empowers you to reduce burnout, dismantle harmful norms, and build the kinds of creative spaces where everyone can thrive.


New episodes every week. Follow now and join the movement toward healthier, more sustainable arts spaces. 

 
 
 

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